


Brief Joys (Because he smiles through it all)

by mariaptapia12



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Batfamily, Batfamily Feels, Big Brother Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Hurt, Hurt Dick Grayson, Police Officer Dick Grayson, Wally makes a cameo, baby in a weird situation, justice league members appear briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 20:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17474789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariaptapia12/pseuds/mariaptapia12
Summary: Dick comes home with a baby and the family reacts.Edited and Updated.





	Brief Joys (Because he smiles through it all)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see more from me my Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mariapaulatb  
> Send me an ask!

**Bruce**

When Bruce gets home from work, he expects a lot of things. Alfred coming to greet him, the smell of cleaning products and the loud noise of his children running through the old manor. The last thing he expected to see, as he and Tim chat about their latest business deal, is his oldest son sitting in their living room with a baby. Bruce brain freezes unused to a miscalculation, Alfred is by his side with sparkling eyes and Damian is looking as shocked as Bruce feels. Bruce is automatically suspicious, narrowing his eyes at the sight.

“Explain.” Bruce spits out, folding his arms against his chest. Dick grins and there is something strange flashing through his eyes that Bruce can’t identify, which he doesn't like so he notes it down for later and decides to focus on the most obvious clues first.

“I found him as Officer Dick Grayson, his father was shot before he could be arrested for the murder of his mother. I volunteered to take him for a few weeks until he gets a good home. He’s a baby so they expect he’ll be off soon enough."

Richard was smiling, so was the small infant being bounced on his lap.

That doesn't calm Bruce cynicism and he tries to look at the situations objectively with the facts he knows to be true. Dick was a lot of things, but his ability to not get attached was none existent. It’s a skill he’s never been able to learn despite Bruce’s constant efforts for him to do so. He knows better than anyone after being Dick’s partner for so long that he was too loving for his own good. He has a heart that did not discriminate. He loves selflessly and without judgment. A quality that would make him a great father and the sight before him showed he was. The smiling happy baby was all the evidence Bruce would need to confirm this theory. In conclusion the sight of a baby in the oldest Robin's arms is not suspicious if you knew Dick, but the baby would need to be closely monitored and its origins tracked once Dick was busy. After that Bruce would prepare for the next course of action, the most obvious.

It obvious to the older vigilante as he watches as Tim coo over the baby. Damian standing by Dick’s side watching the baby with curiosity. He takes in the batman themed footie pajamas the baby is wearing. The babies laugh as Dick holds him up in the air and leaves kisses all over the infants chubby face. The delight in Richard’s eyes. He watched with jealousy as Richard naturally succumbs to the role of dad so casually, like it's all he’s ever been, in a way Bruce has never been able to do.

At this moment Bruce starts making the arrangements for the babies permanent stay.

  
**Tim**

Tim knows this baby isn’t going anywhere. He exchanges a look of disbelief with Damian as their older brother explains the babies presence to their adopted father. It didn't take much skill to see Richard was charmed by the little child.

"He has a good taste in clothes, but I’m sure he’ll look better in Red Robin themed footie pajamas.” Tim teases, moving his arms forward to take the baby from his older brother. Dick lets him and laughs at Tim's comment which fills the younger man with a sudden wave of happy and satisfaction. 

“We’ll buy him a few. I’m sure his future parents will appreciate some extra clothes.” Tim ignored the last statement because he knows better. He knows Dick. Instead focuses on helping Alfred set up the babies things in Dick’s old room. It goes unsaid Dick will be staying at the manor. It makes Tim happy to have his older brother moving back into the manor. Enjoys the new presence of his new nephew as he giggles and makes cute baby noises. It wasn’t hard for Tim to accept the baby.

The babies black hair and blue eyes make him fit into the family perfectly and Dick would be- _was_ an amazing father.

“What’s his name?” Damian asks, the little demon slightly glaring at the cute bundle in Richard’s arms.

“I’m naming him John for now.” Their older brother is smiling big. Tim notes he hasn’t stopped smiling since he arrived. He doesn’t say anything about Dick naming the baby after his dead father. Doesn’t bother questioning it. It seems right. It fits Dick. “We should call up the family. I’m sure everyone will want to see him.”

  
**Damian**

It’s not surprising for every member of the family to slowly start showing up in the manor. Not that Damian appreciates it. The week had been picked with the loud screams and giggles from the creature Grayson decided was a good idea to drag into the manor.

The child is disruptive. Always needing attention and care. Damian can’t help but think that the child wouldn’t be able to sustain a day under League training. Where he came from babies were expected to learn to survive like any member of the group. The tiny Grayson was too spoiled by the older Grayson.

His new dad.

Damian didn’t know how to feel about Richard being a father. He can’t deny that Grayson was an adequate replacement. Damian himself knows from experience that he was an attentive and dedicated guardian. 

Damian wishes he didn't care so much.

Despite only having the child for a week, Richard adapted quickly, no hesitation. Taking shorter patrol hours to get some sleep so he’ll be able to wake up early along with the child. Responding quickly to the babies yells, being there when it wakes up or needs something. His experience with Roy’s brat came in handy, but it wasn’t just Richard talent and care of the infant that made him a good father, Damian observed.

Dick loves him. He loves John and would give anything to make him happy. Not just giving him everything he needs physically, but giving everything for the baby to be happy and loved. He’s been around the baby for a period of time most wouldn’t even consider was long enough to be considered close friends, yet he loves John selflessly and unconditionally. In the way, Damian imagines a father would.

How he imagined his father would at one point.

As much as Damian loves his father and still cares for his mother, he knows that they’ve never treated him like that. Like they would forgive everything he was as long as he was happy. They didn’t believe in love like that. The only person to ever treat him like that was the same person who now had a crying infant in his arms.

It filled Damian with an emotion that he hated more than any other. Damian didn’t want to lose his Batman. His pride keeps the emotions locked in his throat and he can only just stare helplessly as a baby replaces him. He starts to understand what Drake might have felt when his mantle was stripped away.

“Hey, little D."

"Yes? What do you need, Grayson?” He forcefully swallows the lump that has been permanently stuck in his throat since the child arrived.

“It’s Sunday. It’s our movie night. Did you think I’d forget? I put down John for the night, so we have some time for ourselves. This will be so great we-” Damian can only stare as Grayson takes his hand and drags him to the living room lively chatting to him about their plans for the night. His eyes are warm and loving, they’re looking at him like he’s the most precious thing in the universe. The same look John has been receiving since he's crashed into their lives.

Damian wondered if maybe this means theirs space for two in the center of Dick’s universe.

**Jason**

It takes Jason the longest to show up to the manor to visit the new brat. The baby is cute. Black hair and blue eyes. A new chapter to their poisonous line. He is classic future Robin material and Jason can’t help but hold back a smile as he thinks of the little demons reaction once he gets replaced. But then again, the kid always wanted to be Batman, so maybe the mini Grayson would be his Robin. Jason almost pitied the little thing. Almost.

He rolls his eyes when Bruce announces the party. He wasn’t in the mood for interacting with people, even if it was just the family’s closes friends. Sue him but Jason doesn't generally enjoy hanging around so many self righteous heroes. Jason thinks of leaving, but he doesn't. Jason isn’t sure why he stays, but he does, like the rest of his siblings some part of him is still trapped to the manor leaving him unable to cut himself free from the poisonous cycle their family calls life. 

Jason has no problems pretending like the rest. He'll pretend they are all normal. Throwing insults and quick remarks towards his younger brothers. Teasing Dick as he helps him get the baby ready. They dress him up in small fancy clothes. Jason almost coos at the sight of the small socks and shoes. So tiny he could put his hand around them and _squeeze_.

Jason can only watch from a distance. Too used to being alone and being the little black sheep to act any different tonight, even after meeting his cute nephew he has his limit to all the pretending. As Jason sees it he's the closest to the exit, so when everything stumbles down he may be able to save himself.

Dick is laughing, holding his baby tightly against himself and kissing John’s head. A charming sight for his audience to behold. Heroes cooing at the sight.

Jason rolls his eyes at the cheesy happy expression in the man’s face. Dick has always been too much of a mama bear. Worrying and clinging to all of them, he doesn’t seem to understand that none of them really care for the spotlight. Instead, they act like the bats they dress up as. Sticking together and hiding from the world in familiar darkness. They may be together, but they aren't good company. What brings them together is pain and a sense of self destruction, they aren't meant to be happy.

This is why today is so odd.

Everyone’s too focused on the happy. Laughing and smiling. It feels so bizarre to Jason to see the manor be something other than gloomy and for the first time in a long time, he feels something close to warmth inside of him. So intense it scares him. The feeling of hope. Feels like maybe their fucked up family could actually be allowed to have something so innocent and small live with them. Like maybe they would finally defeat the odds and not break another human. Jason wants it. Wants it so badly it makes him want to cry. He wants the baby to thrive, to be the first to rise up from the cracks of the bat’s darkness. He wanted the baby to be more like Dick.

Because Goldy is the only one who has been able to be anything other than a shadow.

And then his fucked up mind just had to inspect the room more closely. Slowly watching everyone until he finds the only spot of sadness in the room. Cass, who wears a small frown on her face and looks at Richard Fucking Grayson, our resident golden boy like she’s seen a new alien species and doesn’t know what to make of it.

And then doubt starts sipping through Jason’s veins like a drug. It’s familiar. It’s home. Jason starts running to the exit hoping to survive the eventual explosion as the entire stage falls to pieces.

**Cassandra**

Cass doesn’t know how to react the first time she sees her new nephew. She had flown from Hong Kong as quickly as possible, completely enchanted by the news Tim excitedly explained through the phone, the appearance of the new member of the family.

She never thought the baby as anything other than permanent. Two weeks staying with the family and she can see how everyone has fallen head over heels for the young one. They were all completely under John’s thumb like he put a spell on them.

Dick looked happy, happier than she’s ever seen him before. Richard had always been the easiest to read for her because when he felt happy, he felt it with his whole body like happiness was growing too big for his body for him to contain. His limps shaking, his hands everywhere as he spoke, as he jumps and down, unable to stay still. Dick's body was a scream to a void and Cass was unable to unheard it and she never saw it as anything other than the truth.

The party was meant to be a casual get-together. A reunion of the Bat-family with a few extra people, mostly the original Justice League members, and their oldest friends. Cass can only watch from afar fondly as everyone makes a line towards Dick. Cooing and awing at the bundle of happiness in his arms.

“Dude, I always knew you would be the best dad.” Wally beams and almost everyone in the party makes a comment agreeing. Their eyes sparkling with excitement.

“You’ve always been great with kids.” Clark Kent teases.

“Best dad possible.” Someone else says barely heard due to so many voices joining in. A mess of compliments. Too many words for Cass to keep up.

“You’ll train him to be the best.” “He’ll love you.” “Can’t wait to see how he grows up.”

And it all feels like a fairy tale to Cassandra. Everything is colorful, warm and excitement is bubbling up high. Theirs balloons of happy laughter floating everywhere decorating the darkest parts of the manor, even the corners that haven’t seen light since Bruce lost his own family. She can see all the affection, pride and compassion reflected in their bodies, their delight. And then her eyes land back to Dick, who’s straightened his spine like he’s been shocked.

She sees it so clearly in his body, as clear as some hear the words and for the first time Cass questions her talent to hear other, because theirs so much pain breaking out so suddenly.

“What are you talking about?"

It all turns bad. bad. bad.

 _That’s the thing about fairy tales_ , Cass can’t help but think as she watches how everyone tenses in confusion, _they’re not real. No matter how badly you want them to be._

 _  
_ **Dick**

He accepts everything as it comes. When he ran into an alley after hearing gunshots, he didn’t expect to see a woman running out of crappy apartment building bleeding so much red that her dress almost looked red. He didn’t think, he only did what he knew best and he extended a hand. Grabbing on to the women and pulling her behind some dumpsters.

He would never get used to seeing people staring at him like he’s God itself when he saves them. Instead he focuses on dealing with the situation accordingly, putting his hands on the women wounds and applying pressure and trying to block away all the noise around him, this is when he notices the baby in her hands hidden away in the mess that is the woman's dress. The baby won’t stop crying. He can hear the yells of men, screams from civilians, the sound of a gun reloading and feet running over.

Then theirs the sounds of one last gunshot and the sound of a particularly heavy body falling to the ground, he takes a quick peek from behind the dumpster, the sight of a police officer and a crowd allows him to conclude that they are safe now.

The women passed away in that alley. Leaving a crying, blood covered infant in the hands of a city that rips people into shreds until they are nothing, till they're anything but human.

He brings the baby home.

He shouldn’t have.

Because his family keeps looking at him with these knowing looks, like they have him all figured out and no matter how much he explains that he’s only looking after him for a little while they don’t seem to understand and he can’t expect them to ever get it. They’re too busy looking at him like he’s the sun to see all the sadder edges of his psyche. The times life has been able to carve into him, leaving big cracks he’s only half-heartedly tried to cover with duck tape.

He can’t blame them for not knowing things he never explained.

Mirage. Blockbusters death. Tarantula. The roof. His failed relationships. The countless deaths and mistakes that weight on his shoulders so heavily it makes him want to cry.

The small human in his hands, this precious baby boy deserves the world. Deserves someone who’s more than the mess that is his life. His smalls, cramped apartment and the shitty mess that is Bluehaven and it doesn’t matter how much he loves, how much he gives of himself. He can’t be his dad.

When he tells his family the social worker called him about John, how they found him a good family. They freeze and it makes Dick tired. It makes him feel so numb he doesn't even know if theirs anything else left him in other than empty space. He had hoped that after the party they’ll get the message, but no, instead they talk and act like John is not about to leave, like he’ll always been part of the cage that is the manor.

Dick doesn’t want to look at them.

When the day comes he helps Alfred pack a small bad with John’s favorite things. He promises himself he won’t cry. Tears have never helped him before. He just holds John and hugs him so close to his chest. His heart aches, but Dick insists on focusing on memorizing how he feels in his arms. His soft weight, warmth and soft texture of his skin. His smell of baby powder and Alfred’s favorite detergent.

He can’t cry. He won't let himself because this isn’t his baby. He never was and Dick is sick and tired of taking children when he knows they don't belong to him. He's tired of losing them. He doesn't need another Damian. Growing up in front of him, loving him, but still not being able to have him. Dick is tired of being hurt this way. He's tired of it all.

When he hears a knock downstairs, it feels all too soon. He’s spent a month changing diapers, feeding, cleaning, burping, cuddling and loving this little boy and one more minute wouldn’t be enough. Nothing would be enough. He would miss his everything. The entire family is moving towards them and Dick can’t look at them in the eye.

He walks over to the social worker and with a big smile hands over John. The baby wiggles in the woman’s grip. Look over at him, his little face scrunched up like he’s puzzled by something and Dick wishes with all his heart that he’s too young to understand what this all means. He smiles at the baby. Hoping it means something. Hoping it doesn't look as weird as it feels on his face. How most smiles have felt on his face for a really long time.

He nods along as the social worker insists on asking him questions about the babies care. **He smiles** as he explains everything to her from John's wake up time to how to get him to sleep. He tells him every food he dislikes, tv shows he likes and his favorite shirt. He even laughs as he nods his head yes when she asks if he’s sure.

 **He smiles** as he hands her all he has left of John. She offers so many kind words. Kind words he can’t focus on because his insides feel like they are tearing themselves apart, sore and bruised like he just got out of a fight with killer croc.

 **He smiles** when she says goodbye. He washes numbly as she takes _his_ baby. John looks over her shoulder, his little arm pointing towards him. He wants to reach out, but he doesn’t. Instead, he tries to memorize every inch of him before he disappears.

 **He smiles goodbye.**  He doesn’t know how to do anything else anymore. He doesn't know how to not smile through his heart breaking apart for good. He doesn't know if he's able to do anything else. if he stops smiling he doesn't think he'll have anything left. Theirs nothing else there to break anymore.

He’s gone. John is gone. The smile dies. He hasn’t even been gone more than a few minutes and he feels like he's finally died, he is empty and that feeling is terrifyingly familiar, it never stops. The emptiness just never goes away and then he just walks away. He doesn’t say anything for the longest time and his family is looking at him, looking at him like they don’t really know who he is anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see more from me my Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mariapaulatb  
> Send me an ask!


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